How to Text a Girl – The Complete Guide to Flirting Over Text

Most guys completely destroy attraction through texting. What starts as a promising in-person connection dies in the phone because of bad texting habits.

This guide covers exactly what to say, how often to text, and how to move from texting to a date.

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The Golden Rules of Texting

1. Mirror her energy, slightly less

If she's sending short responses, don't send paragraphs. If she's engaged and long-form, you can be too. Slightly less invested than her — always.

2. Don't double text

If she hasn't replied, don't send another message. One message, wait for a reply. The exception: if you have something genuinely interesting to share (a funny photo, a relevant news item), you can send once more after 2+ days.

3. Be the one who ends conversations

"Gotta go, talk soon" is more attractive than running the conversation to its natural death. End on a high note. This makes her wonder what you're up to.

4. Have a life in the subtext

When she asks what you're doing: "Just got back from the gym, about to make dinner" is better than "nothing much, just sitting at home." Your texts should imply you have a life.

5. Don't be available 24/7

Responding within 5 seconds to every text signals you have nothing going on. Match or slightly exceed her response time in the early stages.

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What to Text Her

The first text after getting her number

Bad: "Hey, it's [name] from the other day 😊"

Good: "The person who called your coffee order pretentious" (a callback to your conversation)

The first text should reference something specific from when you met. It shows you remember, you're interesting, and it re-establishes rapport.

Keeping the conversation going

Don't ask generic questions ("How was your day?"). Ask specific or unexpected questions:

• "Do you think everyone secretly hates surprises or is that just me"
• "What's the most unhinged thing you've done for fun"
• "You seem like someone with a strong opinion on [topic you talked about]. Am I wrong?"

Flirting over text

Teasing works better over text than complimenting:

• "You're really bad at describing movies, it's impressive"
• "That's the most chaotic thing I've heard all week, I respect it"

Playful misinterpretation:

• Her: "I love road trips"
• You: "Already planning our first road trip, noted"

Asking her out

Don't say "Would you maybe want to possibly hang out sometime?" — this is weak and gives her nothing to say yes to.

Say: "I'm going to [specific place] on [specific day]. Come."

Or: "We should get [drinks/coffee/dinner]. Are you free Thursday or Friday?"

Specific + confident = yes.

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Common Texting Mistakes

Complimenting her constantly — "You're so pretty," "you're amazing" in every text → she loses interest

The good morning text — Sending good morning texts to someone you've been on 0 dates with is too much

One-word replies — "Nice." / "Haha" / "Yeah" — this kills conversations

Emotional dumping — Sharing how much you like her or how nervous you are in the early stages

The unsolicited voice memo — Just don't

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Practice Your Texting Game

Knowing what to say is one thing. Practicing it under pressure is another. The best conversationalists have had thousands of interactions — but most guys don't get enough reps.

Mogg's AI Rizz Coach simulates real texting scenarios — how to open, how to flirt, how to ask her out — and gives you feedback on your responses. Get 1000 reps of practice privately before taking it to real life.

Train your texting game →